Never Broken

Suddenly I don't have to clean everything over and over or be concerned whether the mask was doing what it was intended.

To block out a plague.

Sounds daunting. Well! It was all that and more.

I wanted to talk about moving on.

Moving forward.

Making all the pieces fit when in reality they never did.

Lets take a breath! Its not time for a Heartbreak Anthem

Just using my tools of writing so you become curious as to where I am going with all this post. Never fear, there are always some sort of methods in this incredible madness of my world. It's madness because I wanted it to be just that. Zany! (who says that anymore). Unscripted, yes thank God. As a script writer I am always editing away everything I have written anyway.

You know if I had just added this word or stopped the run away thoughts. "Well, that just wouldnt be me now.!"

You are here because we have things in common.

We are creative, smart, clever and fun. All of those and more.

Now Seemingly overnight, the quirky (wearing your underwear during a Zoom call with clients!) became mundane. You only need to look awesome from the waist up.

My friends, family, colleagues, and communities have had their lives changed in critical ways that promise to have much longer-lasting effects.

Living through a global pandemic has driven dramatic shifts in our jobs, eating habits, childcare, and even our collective sense of time. It's important that we have some sort of empathy and understanding of that the truth will make us all stronger as we rebuild and remake our world in the year ahead.

For a while it seemed like a respite from daily stresses. Traffic jams vanished in cities like Los Angeles, San Jose, and Bengaluru. It seems possible that the office life we had might never be the same again. For millions, working from home has come to signify higher-end employment.

Those of us only beginning our careers or in my case have struggled to be productive while working from home as I am onto my next career as well as re-establishing myself in the entertainment biz . I realized that face-to-face contact is crucial for generating new ideas.

Gmail, Google News, and Street View all grew out of chitchat over free gourmet lunches at Amazon, Google and the slyness of TikTok that became an audition for living for so many of us.

That time has been playing tricks on us during the pandemic will surprise no one who, over the course of the past year, has forgotten what day it is, or who in describing daily life has invoked Groundhog Day. There are reasons for that. For me the goal of remembering why i was standing in my closet staring at my clothes and shoes that made me realize I needed to buy more only to realize as I was filling my online shopping cart that I would have no place to really wear anything new much less fit into them as I had become another diet tragedy.

When did my day begin and end when you could never really leave my virtual office? That I had no end insight of how many more motivational moments I could dream and write and repeat only to do them all over again the next day

I was on a Merry Go Round..... Had to get off

I was personally more often working all thru the night till dawn, through lunch, and over the weekends. For myself who was busy and somewhat satisfied with my own mapped out social interactions, and who was not stressed, time sped along. For those who were lonely, bored, and experiencing anxiety and depression, it moved slowly. But I was there for them. Cheers.

Toilet paper wasn’t the only hard-to-find item in the early days of the pandemic. For gym rats, dumbbell shortages and lengthy waits for delivery of Peloton bikes and treadmills became symbols of just how dramatically all of this had altered my over 35 years of a workout culture. All of this had was has now become my form of an exercise suddenly as a = at-home activity as I planned to go from room to room like I was really going somewhere.

Somewhere in the middle of all this I had become an essential worker. Not just because I bartended or served food from time to time. I was the listener to people that literally had no one to talk to and the avid marcher for all things that mattered, not just my black, brown and Asian friends but my own life as a gay jew. I do not want to start a laundry list of all the things that I was essential because at the end of the day. I survived. I am here.

I had several epiphany Oprah light bulb moments. I i had the time to process everything that had happened in my life. All of the incredible life learning moments from sad to happy to sad and then happy back again. I finally was able to sort out all of the things and daily miracles I had been given by hanging out with my Mom for her final years. By far the biggest gift I have ever received.

A chance to reconnect with my psychiatrist by virtual telehealth and realize that all the tools i had been given were working. My personal moments to realize how much the people in my life meant to me with all their flaws and awesomeness. I would watch people spend time with their parents, mom or whoever and came to the wonderful conclusion that those personal moments would remind me of my own times with my own Mom. It makes me smile to this day.

It is as if all of the things that were planned to move me forward would just have to slow down, re-invent themselves or just day by day get taken care of as small baby steps were starting to become larger and bolder. All of the signs that I asked for would bitch slap me over and over again in to reality. Yes, It is going to work out Rand. Yes Rand! Yes Rand!

I share in the grieving of all that we lost but I also share in so many personal miracles that happened for so many. Some larger than life, some smaller than that moments. We are living in this together. Its the best time to stop and notice the flowers along the way. If you look for the rainbows, they will all appear. It's just how the universe was built.

I thank you for reading, for seeing yourself in some of the thoughts I shared. It is now time more than ever to live life as fully as you can imagine. This is Rand for Live Live Live. I will be watching. in the words of the Scifi's "Live Long and Prosper". Cheers

You will be Found.....