"NO" in all cases is a complete sentence

Living my life as my authentic self can really at times pull all of the light from any room. Being an empath is that times ten, In case you have never met a true empath, then congratulations. You are here with one now. Let me give some back story so this can make sense.

We are all about facts these days. So lets start:

Empaths are highly sensitive individuals, who have a keen ability to sense what people around them are thinking and feeling. Psychologists may use the term empath to describe a person that experiences a great deal of empathy often to the point of taking on the pain of others at their own expense.

However, the word "empath" can also be used as a spiritual term, describing an individual with special, psychic abilities to sense the emotions and energies of others. That would be me. This is meant to focus on the psychological aspects of being an empath.

There are many benefits of being an empath.

On the bright side, empaths tend to be excellent friends.

They are superb listeners.

They consistently show up for friends in times of need.

They are big-hearted and generous.

Empaths also tend to be highly intuitive and emotionally intelligent.

However, some of the very qualities that make empaths such fantastic friends can be hard on the empaths themselves. Because empaths quite literally feel what their friends are going through, they can become overwhelmed by painful emotions, such as anxiety or anger. Empaths have a tendency to take on the problems of others as their own. It is often difficult for them to set boundaries for themselves and say no, even when too much is being asked of them.

Additionally, it is common for empaths to feel drained after spending time around people. Empaths are usually introverts, and they require a certain amount of alone time in order to recharge from incessant chatter. They often feel their best when they are surrounded by nature.

You know when I was coming into my own as a labeled "Empath", there was my constant research continuing along as I wanted and needed my own answers.

You know to make sure I really did not need to be fitted for a straight jacket. Even the term straight opens up a whole other life for me which is at least a 100 more posts as we discover that world together. So after exhaustive research i came up with my own test questions. Here they are:

You can Ask yourself:

• Have I been labeled as “too emotional” or overly sensitive?

• If a friend is distraught, do I start feeling it too?

• Are my feelings easily hurt?

• Am I emotionally drained by crowds, require time alone to revive?

• Do my nerves get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talk?

• Do I prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please?

• Do I overeat to cope with emotional stress?

• Am I afraid of becoming engulfed by intimate relationships?

Responding yes to more than 3 indicates that you've have found your emotional type.

“Recognizing that you’re an empath is the first step in taking charge of your emotions instead of constantly drowning in them,”

For myself the strongest questions that led the way for me.

Do I prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please?

Yes over and over again. For me with the title of empath it means that there are times that the feelings and emotions are flying at me in such a repeating blasts that it becomes impossible to hear the music when I really came to just dance.

The Critical Inner Voice is like a nasty coach that lives inside our heads, waiting for any opportunity to criticize us. Empaths, being sensitive, are vulnerable to these self-critical thoughts.

I may think things like, “Why do you feel so much all the time? What’s wrong with you?” or “You’re just too sensitive.” However, it is important not to believe these self-attacks or act on your inner critic’s bad advice.

While it is easy for me to feel compassion for others, it is often difficult for them to feel compassion for themselves.

Self-compassion is the simple (yet challenging) practice of treating yourself like a friend. It is called a practice because it is something that you get better at over time.

So I do these things after an emotional drain fest

1) I Acknowledge and notice my suffering.

2) I am kind and caring in response to suffering.

3) Remember that imperfection is something we all share at times

Time for Reflection... Go Scene

Being highly sensitive to emotions makes empaths caring, compassionate, and understanding of other people. My friends and large extended family tend to turn to me first for a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. While most of the world struggles to put themselves in others’ shoes, empaths possess a true superpower — the ability to easily see a person’s perspective because they actually feel their emotions as their own. Guilty as charged. You may arrest me now.

On the other hand, there are real challenges that come with being so empathetic. Empaths often feel misunderstood because of how deeply they feel. They can also become overwhelmed easily as they juggle all the emotions they experience — from themselves and others.

In my own experiences over and over again, the closer I emotionally to someone, there is no on and off switch. I can usually know when and where they first fell in love with me. It takes people a long long time to express their heart. It can be frustrating when they are saying no but you hear yes a thousand times a day. Their reaction is to over compensate and fill their life with so many people so they can avoid the reality .

Patience is my best friend. So we move on....

When you’re the person who feels suffering more than anyone around you, it’s hard not to feel responsible for remedying it.

As an empath myself, I know there are just certain struggles only other empaths can fully understand.

Although empaths tend to connect well with others, ironically, they need a lot of time alone to process their own emotions and have a break from absorbing others’. Sometimes they’re even mistaken for introverts .

If you don’t have alone time, you can easily crumble under the pressure. On the other hand, maintaining healthy relationships is good for your mental health, and pure isolation is not.

It can be a real struggle to balance alone time with socializing. For this reason, empaths tend to prefer more low-key settings, such as coffee shops or friends’ houses, over noisy clubs or parties.

Speaking of needing time to recharge, it can be hard to explain to others why you need it. For me, it’s the only time I can properly listen to myself and sort out the thoughts swirling around in my head. I also need quiet moments to “hear” myself and filter out the emotions I may have picked up throughout the day from other people.

Empaths can sense when a person is upset, often even before they have indicated it to others. This can be a wonderful trait because it allows you to notice when others are in need. However, it can also make it hard to enjoy yourself.

For me, this can happen when I’m just trying to have a nice, carefree time with my friends. Once I notice someone is feeling less-than-happy, I can’t enjoy myself if I begin taking on their emotions.

Intuition is a huge empath superpower.

They often have gut feelings after meeting new people that turn out to be true, thus shielding themselves and others from dishonest people, or those with bad intentions. And even though I want to tell them to run away as fast as they can, my psychic part kicks in as I know they have to learn the pain of the lesson from it. Thats the hardest part for me. I can share with those around the ones you care about my gut feeling cause it's just hard to hurt the ones you love . I heard a great reason I will use from now on. Pump the brakes. Knowing when to step on the gas is great but there must be time to catch up for them. So for me I drop little seeds here and there for thought. They will develop and grow. For me I have done what I needed.

That being said, empaths are not immune to deception, narcissism, and toxic people. It’s important to watch out for those who try to take advantage of your empathy, compassion, and willingness to help.

The other people feel my own vibrations as an attack and will manipulate or try as best they can. The great thing for me is I know this as it starts. There have been many heart to heart talks as they tell me what they think I want to hear as it has been perfectly scripted by them but they forget I am a writer and I can mentally rewrite the whole scene and make it fall apart. It can be really hard at times when they are saying the nicest and kindest things to your face but you are hearing the half truth side of it. People will use a real statement version and half of it is true.

The use of the real portion enables them to say it to your face. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! They think by shielding you from the truths they are being sensitive to your needs. The key word here is "Think". The moment they think I hear. And busted on the spot. I never flinch. They never know. It can drain everything out of me but it does not cause I know how to switch the conversation really quickly.

Empaths care — a lot, about everything. It’s just in their nature. So, “little” things, such as one mean comment from a stranger online or a disagreement with a coworker, can affect you for days and take a long time to get over. Other people may not understand why you can’t just “get over it.”

You feel so much from those around you, and your empathy makes you a great listener, healer, and problem solver. But sometimes you give away all your energy to others, while forgetting about yourself. This is where it’s so important to prioritize inner work and self-care. Empaths must help themselves before they can have the energy to help others.

“No” often makes you feel guilty. Empaths hate disappointing or potentially hurting others. In the moment, you’re happy to sacrifice your time or energy to make others feel good — until it leaves you drained and overwhelmed.

You likely can’t save everyone.

You can’t prevent sorrow.

You can’t eradicate suffering. Knowing this hurts, but these are key facts that have helped me get through hard days. It’s so easy, as an empath, to get hung up on someone’s suffering. It helps to know that although you feel it, the world is a mechanism unto itself that usually has a path.

I can send healing energy and think positive thoughts, but ultimately all you can do is step back and let the universe do its thing. It’s an impossible notion, but it is so important to remember.

All of this being said. Here is the money maker so to speak.

“I am an extreme empath, in the sense that I can consciously enter into someone’s emotional field and figure out what is going on with them.”

“Empathy for me was a gift that became a curse, that became a gift, that became a skill, that became a superpower, that became a mission.”

Empaths and their close cousins, intuitives, tend to draw on a similar client base to tarot readers, yoga instructors, crystal healers and reiki practitioners.

In Los Angeles, it is more common to meet people who are into this stuff than those who aren’t. Los Angeles draws them like moths to a flame. Guilty again as charged.

I am often asked if an empath is just a millennial rebrand of the old-school psychic. “But I don’t say things to people that aren’t helpful for them.”

“When we see someone in pain, we don’t just note it and walk away. It usually propels us to do something about it – to rush over and help, or perhaps donate money to a cause.” How many times have the people that know me are talking about protest march one minute to turn on their media outlets to see or read about what I am doing now in all of them.

“People seem to think I know more about them than they do.”

People love me for being so understanding and helpful when it comes to their problems.

I am a great listener and I know that something is going on before the person in front of you gets a chance to share what's on their mind.

So welcome one and all. This is my reality. My world for sure. As a creative, it opens all things imaginable as I am the whim of the universe. I am the one that needs no invitation. I usually get where I want to be. I choose my constant surroundings. I become close and available to whom and where I choose. Manipulations of any type when presented as a waste of time for me. I always know about them before they land. Cynical. No! There is that lovely sentence again. No! Not in the least. Protection of my light and soul, then absolutely "Yes"

So first of all if you have made it to this sentence , then you are awesome. Thanks for reading my blog. Another chapter in my life as an onion that peels away layers for you when you need to know.

When I am recovering from an atomic bomb of emotional release from others and I realize that they will have to figure this out for the most part on their own.

It zapps me beyond belief as I keep my game face on so it does not bring down the room on top of us all.

A recovery tool is my writing. It enables me to round up all of the emotions that swirl and move them into one place. Once they are gathered then I can get back to you my readers, supporters and friends. Until the next. Live Live Live.

Thank You

So I am tapping on the glass. Waving thru a Window..... I see you....